Reports by US detective Dick Stiff and LA columnist, Helon Kokaine. From France, royalty news by the rapscallion, Count Maléfique 111 (pronounced “ zee terd”), and guest appearances from our very own Ratman and Orange.

The Manneken Plan is the hilarious tale of a vagabond's quest to conquer the virtual world for free. Each day, Manneken hunts down new, genuine free stuff and seeks out the latest viral life forms to share with readers. Furthermore, he enjoys exposing bogus charlatans who peddle their paying wares as free. A local hobo described the blog as “a thrilling saga of debauchery, wanton violence and fresh carrots.”

As I travel around the world and settle down in Belgium, I realise that odd people are everywhere. Where do they all come from?